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Unknown Island North

"Unknown Island North" is culled from Annie Dillard's 1977 "Holy the Firm". A metaphor for a new thought on the horizon, it is "a new island, a new wrinkle, the deepening of wonder." Dillard finds various names for it as she sketches this new thing onto her drawing of the Puget Sound islands visible from her window. I suppose here, in my own way, I am seeking to name the things that most capture my attention as I look out at the world from my perspective. What follows is a record of what I see.

My Photo
Name: Lira
Location: Siskiyou County, California

Reclusive twenty-something. Married for seven years now to an honest-to-God Prince Charming. Mischievous Christian. Vegan with raw vegan aspirations. Fond of black lace. Recently acquired by one small, sweet, beloved tabby kitten. Cabin-dweller. Constantly online: might as well be physically plugged in to the power outlet and the local server. Holds a BA in Religion, and a Raw Vegan Associate Chef & Instructor certification. Has worked in child care, education, special education, youth ministry, and children's ministry over the past thirteen years. Reads books like Cookie Monster eats cookies. Writer, artist, and musician. Laboriously learning how to dance. Utter scatterbrain. Adores Lewis Carroll's Alice in all her various incarnations. World just gets curiouser and curiouser every day.

Monday, November 16, 2009

And the Writing Falleth Behind

To stay on schedule, I must write 5,000 words tomorrow and 3,000 words the day after that. Shall I abuse caffeine, chocolate, or doom metal to get me through the gauntlet?

Choices, choices.

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Writing Goeth Well

Amazingly so, actually. I've worked on the NaNo writing 9 days out of 10 so far. I've put in a total of 24 hours and 45 minutes of actual writing time, at an average rate of 13 words per minute.

Yeah, I've always been a slow writer, but I think I'm getting better. Also, this year, while I do get tired, I'm not running out of story steam. If I follow the butt-in-chair principle, the words flow down out of the ether and appear like magic on my OpenOffice screen. It's kinda creepy.

And I am so pleased with myself!

Ten days in and I'm sitting at 19,224 new words for this thing. Tomorrow I start afresh with Chapter 28. Chapter 20-freaking-8! I do a happy dance now. I totally rock.

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Sunday, November 01, 2009

And She's Off!

Yuppers. It's NaNoWriMo time. I. Am. Going. To. Finish. This. Story. This. Year.

Thus far, I average 15 words a minute, and 900 words an hour. This is quite an improvement for me. In college, I wrote 250-300 words per hour. Last year, I was up to about 500 words per hour, 600 on a good day. Guess all my writing practice over the past few months has paid off.

We're doing a lot of traveling this month, I'm taking another culinary course in Fort Bragg, and I'm providing all-day child care for our friends a couple times in the next few weeks. Hopefully, I'll still be able to meet my word count goals (and, of course, the ultimate word count goal) by the end of the month.

Here's to actually finishing this monster this time around!

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Friday, October 02, 2009

Summer Reading List 2009

The Switching Hour: Kids of Divorce Say Good-Bye Again, Evon O. Flesberg **

god is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything, Christopher Hitchens ***

Confessor, Terry Goodkind ***

The Inferno of Dante
, Dante Aligheri, Robert Pinsky, trans. ***

Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment, James Patterson ***

Carrie, Stephen King ***

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl ***

Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, Roald Dahl **

To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee *****

Joyful Noise: Poems for Two Voices, Paul Fleischman ***

Native Treasures : Gardening with the Plants of California, M. Nevin Smith ***

Tangled Webs, Anne Bishop **

The Gingerbread Girl
, Stephen King ***

The Shack, William P. Young ***

Gifts, Ursula K. Le Guin *****

The Moon by Night, Madeleine L'Engle ****

Sense and Sensibility
, Jane Austen *****

The Dispossessed, Ursula K. LeGuin ****

The Rock that is Higher: Story as Truth, Madeleine L'Engle ****

Human Disability and the Service of God: Reassessing Religious Practice, Nancy L. Eiesland and Don E. Saliers, Editors ***

The Silver Kiss, Annette Curtis Klause ****

The Two Towers, J.R.R. Tolkien *****

Short-Cut Vegan: Great Taste in No Time
, Lorna Sass ***

Voices, Ursula K. Le Guin *****

The Ragamuffin Gospel
, Brennan Manning ***

The Return of the King, J.R.R. Tolkien *****

In Search of Mockingbird
, Loretta Ellsworth ***

Powers, Ursula K. Le Guin *****

Children's Books:

I often read (and you'll see listed above) children's and young adult books for pleasure, because it is good to break out of the categories: this is for kids, that is for grown-ups. All good stories are worth enjoying. The books that follow are some books that I've studied this summer as part of my various writing exercises to explore components of story and the craft of writing.

Tam Lin, Jane Yolen ****

The Cockatoucan, E. Nesbit ***

The Bossing of Josie, Ronda and David Armitage **

The Malachite Palace, Alma Flor Ada ***

In a Blue Room, Jom Averbeck ***

A Dark, Dark Tale, Ruth Brown ***

Little Bitty Mousie, Jim Aylesworth ****

Ice Palace, Deborah Blumenthal ***

The Paper Crane, Molly Bang ***

Bunny's Noisy Book
, Margaret Wise Brown **

When Dad Cuts Down the Chestnut Tree, Pam Ayers ***

Aunt Pitty Patty's Piggy, Jim Aylesworth ***

How Snake Got His Hiss, Marguerite W. Davol ***

The Magic Fan, Keith Baker ***

The Wind Child, Cheryl Harness ***

Lon Po Po, Ed Young ****

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Monday, September 07, 2009

Wesleyan Musings: Part 4 - Love

This final post based upon the things discussed at the February conference is more of a collection of general insights and questions gleaned from the conference overall, than anything else. Love is such a large concept. I think most of the attendees took home some ideas about Christian love to try out, or to inspire their current works. We uncovered no definitive Philosophy of Love, but rather a practical notion that we are not alone in trying to live lovingly.

Love and Conflict

Love is a prerequisite for forgiveness, and forgiveness doesn't absolve the guilt of perpetrators/tresspassers. Forgiveness opens the way to restoration.

Take note of how it's put in the Lord's Prayer: there WILL be tresspasses in the church.

God's love refuses to answer the question "Why?" God's love continues to ask the question "What now?"

God is love without limits, unbounded love, infinite in its potential, but limited in its influence by the participation/cooperation of God's creatures.

Love Responds to Violence

Church culture often gets sidetracked. The Church of the Nazarene, for example, got sick during WWI with nationalistic militarism.

1 Peter addresses the church and nonviolence issue.

Righteousness is doing the right things for the right reasons. Holiness is being set apart to be fully human. Righteousness and holiness may cost us our lives, but resurrection is promised.

So then I must ask: What does such resurrection look like? Really, what is resurrection? It is worth the death that precedes it?

The premise of resurrection is that the worst thing is never the last thing.

Show me how that works. Show me how I can hope in that. Show me why I should hope for that.

A vital theological work: Moltmann's Crucified God.

Justice is what love looks like in public. Nonviolence is a necessary contemporary component of Christlikeness, provided that the abstention from violence is characterized by reverent submission.

We must turn to Hebrews and James to understand what the Gospel looks like to the developing world.

Community does not work without mutual submission. The church is nothing special without reverent submission and nonviolent justice.

The humility of God is God's submission to Creation. For can there be such a thing as love in isolation? Isn't God Triune?

See Lev. 19:18. And also 1 John 4:18. Perfect love casts our fear--and vengeance. Fear is the root of vengeance. Don't pay it back, but pay it forward.

Recall that Bonhoeffer didn't seek the cross, but accepted it when the cross found him, as part of the territory of the life of love.

Giving is Good for Us

Plenary Lecture: Stephen G. Post - It's Good to be Good (Powerpoint)

In the giving of self lies the unintentional discovery of a deeper self.

"If you devote your life to seeking revenge, first dig two graves."
- Confucius

"It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
- J. Krishnamurti

Happiness = Love + Ethics + Simplicity

The research indicates that we should get started early in developing the fruit of the Spirit: it supports health and longevity.

Ten Ways to Express/Give Love:
1. creativity
2. celebration
3. helping
4. forgiveness
5. humor
6. respect
7. attentive listening
8. compassion
9. loyalty
10. "carefrontation" - the courage to confront evil with love, not malice

Recurring question: Can autistic people love? (Or other mentally/emotionally separated people?) How do/can they express love?

Concluding Thoughts:

Love is about giving dignity to every human being. Love is about becoming more human. When a creature is dignified, loves reaches its telos. This kind of fulfilled love is "perfect" love.

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Interlude: List o' Lessons

I moved into my own apartment when I was 19. I was a new Christian, an AmeriCorps volunteer on a stipend, and terrified of life in general (including and especially people in general). One of the things I did to encourage myself during this time was to keep a "List o' Lessons Learned" during each month tacked up on my front door.

I'm kind of moving into a new place in my life, and it's all scary again. You know, that whole figuring out what to do with myself, my days, my...kitten. So I pulled out my old lists from 2000. And you know what? Some of these lessons are still helpful today. So I'm relearning them. And sharing them here.

List o' Lessons Learned in February
  1. Each friend is an amazing gift from God.
  2. You can do a lot with a roll of packing tape.
  3. The Boise BUS system is really yicky.
  4. Always leave for work at 6:20 a.m. Not 6:30 a.m.
  5. Faith is a refusal to panic.
  6. Living alone (and without a car) requires dependence on the Lord and reliance upon friends.
  7. Don't forget to eat.
  8. It's okay to have an occasional sleepless night.
  9. If you do it now, you won't have to do it later.
  10. Small miracles are just as amazing as big ones.
  11. People who get around in cars conceptualize distance differently than people who frequently assume the title of "pedestrian."
  12. Always get exact directions to where you're going before you try to walk there.
  13. When Management gets involved, expect complex complications.
  14. Double check to make sure the front door is locked.


List o' Lessons Learned in March
  1. Check what they charge you at the grocery store.
  2. If you miss the first bus, catch the next one.
  3. If you're tired, go to bed early.
  4. Check on the weather so you can plan ahead.
  5. I don't understand God, but I know He is good.
  6. Keep in touch with your loved ones.
  7. Don't be stingy with your "thank yous".
  8. It's hard to cook with Oscar Meyer lunchmeat.
  9. Keep in touch with God: pray.
  10. The Lord's miracles are amazing.
  11. I can't help anybody if I don't let God help me.
  12. Keep careful account of cell phone time!
  13. Things get ugly when you keep God out.
  14. Things get better when you let God in.
  15. It's okay to admit it when you're wrong.


List o' Lessons Learned in April
  1. Buy your bus pass before you need one and discover you don't have the current pass.
  2. What God gives me is enough.
  3. I am in very capable Hands.
  4. God provides.
  5. Follow where He leads.
  6. His work often shows up as big surprises.


List o' Lessons Learned in May
  1. You're not a failure until you quit.
  2. Pray to God and get to work.
  3. Opposition comes when we do God's work.
  4. When you miss the bus, you get to take a long walk.
  5. It is stupid to pretend that you know everything.
  6. Each choice is like standing at a crossroad: you have to choose which way to go--old way or new life.
  7. Let go and let God. Really.
  8. Forgiving doesn't always mean forgetting.
  9. God is a good Shepherd: He is trustworthy.
  10. People you know will let you down. It isn't the end of the world.
  11. God's got me and I'm safe.
  12. I am not in control and never have been.
  13. Clean the cat box every day.


List o' Lessons Learned in June
  1. I am a better teacher than I think I am.
  2. Trusting God is exhilarating and exhausting.

And yes, I did learn each and every one of these lessons the hard way.

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Thursday, July 09, 2009

Wesleyan Musings: Part 3 - Holiness

We see holiness in love operational in Christ.

Holiness is God's ungraspability (1 Tim. 6:11-16). In us, holiness is our ungraspability - the wisdom of the world versus the foolishness of God (and God's people). We live according to a different ethic and are both appealing and inscrutable to those who see the love we live but do not join in the fun themselves.

This holiness/ungraspability is Mystery that communicates outrageous love.

And community holiness is about as messy as we can get.

Workshop: Diane Leclerc - The Nature and Function of Holiness

There is a subtle difference between one generation's approach to spiritual experience and its offspring's. For example, in the American Holiness churches the people of the revival years might say, "I look like this because of my experience with the Holy Spirit." Later generations came to say, "This is what you look like if you've experienced the Holy Spirit."

This is the difference between character and characterization.

Building character in the Wesleyan tradition means a synergistic cooperation with God. Practice and the various means of grace fuel personal and collective transformation, and character development. The process goes like this: "Because I yielded to God today, it should be easier for me to yield tomorrow."

Thus, how do I love? I love by being a loving person. And as I love, I become more loving. This is holistic holiness. The emphasis is not on doing good things, but on becoming a good person.

There are arguments out there that insist that the reverse emphasis is the better way to go about being a Christian. But I have seen firsthand, and repeatedly, that the best intentions of people who try to act holy without troubling to become holy produce travesties of faith and mockeries of church. I am convinced that apart from the virtue of love, there is no such thing as an actual Christian.

The Wesleyan perspective of Christian character begins with Aristotle. As explained in Dr. Leclerc's workshop, there are four Aristotlean positions of character as character relates to telos (telos = purpose, reason, fundamental fulfillment of being).

  1. The Vicious Character knows what one should do, but chooses not to, and does not do it.
  2. The Incontinent Character knows what one should do, chooses to do it, but is unwilling to follow through and does not act upon the choice.
  3. The Continent Character knows the good, and does the good, but only out of a sense of duty.
  4. The Virtuous Character knows the good and does the good, for good's sake.

The Virtuous Character is the only one with the potential to live a holy life. Yet, the Continent Character is frequently the height of so-called holiness in our churches. John Wesley would contend that we can only be holy if we do the good for the good's sake, if we do what is right because it is right. Good is doing what we do for the sake of the other.

"Why do I do what I do?" is an important question. Our intrinsic qualities direct our actions. We are born with a purpose (telos), an intitially pure potentiality. As this purpose is actualized, a person flourishes, becoming who he or she is meant to be.

Human Purpose

Love is the purpose for which we are created. We can only find human fulfillment when we are loving. By habituating love, we become increasingly free to love. Ah, but are we not always free to love?

As was explained in the workshop, our freedom is limited by our present levels of experience, skill, or habit. For example, I am free to go into the kitchen right now and bake a batch of delicious vegan cupcakes, substituting agave nectar for sugar, adding a touch of vanilla for rich flavor, and whipping up some frosting from scratch, which I can scoop into a pastry bag and pipe onto my cupcakes to make funky designs. My husband, on the other hand, is not free to do any of this. He would be free to go to the store and buy a cake mix, follow the directions on the back of the box, and make a sweetly tasty mess trying to frost his batch of little cakes with commercially premade frosting.

But then, my husband is also free to take out his euphonium and play exquisite music. I am not free to do likewise. I've never played a brass instrument in my life. Ecaep chose to pursue mastery of the euphonium. I chose to pursue the esoteric art of vegan cupcakery.

Our freedoms are limited by our patterns of choice. Past choices inform present and future choices. So, again, the idea is that because I yielded to God today, it should be easier for me to yield tomorrow.

Wesley's moral psychology describes this process in terms of internal human components. We have understanding, will, liberty (the freedom to act out of character), affections (moods or attitudes, habituated emotions), and temperments (inclinations). Will comes from affections and directs our choices. It is God's grace that molds our affections toward our telos into temperaments. Temperments solidify into dispositions. Habituated dispositions become character (who one is). This occurs in the central being, the heart.

Nineteenth-Century adaptation of such considerations skewed Wesley's view of holiness toward legalism. Faith became a rational decision accompanied by a sanctioned suspicion of inner feelings and motives. Intellectualist moral psychology emphasized the power of rational self-determination and the control of affections. Will was understood to be the principle of independent rational choice, untethered from any acknowledgment of pattern or habit. Passions and affections became the utterly irrational inner life. Thus being, as an internal process, was suspect and condemned to be suppressed or excised. "Holiness" meant not being, but doing, which is the nature of legalism.

Dr. Leclerc pointed out that there is a deep interaction between holy character and holy acts. Only a holy character can do a holy act. To try to perform holy acts without being holy is futile. Such activities are simply not holy. Now, if we take this view, we must simultaneously recognize that holiness is not, therefore, a condition that we achieve. Holiness cannot be a static perfection, an epitome of goodness one must attain before one can do holy stuff. Holiness must be a becoming, a movement within the surrounding currents of love toward further depths of love.

Our purpose/telos is to love God and to love others as we love ourselves. It is grace that energizes new creations within us and draws us toward our telos. This is why Christian rebirth is a radical transformation. We are stunningly freed to know the good and to do the good because it is good, to do good for the sake of love, to be and become holy.

Doing Good for the Sake of Love

The means of grace, along with various Christian practices, are not ends in and of themselves. Rather, these things open us up to the grace of God. Going to church, participating in communion, praying, fasting, reading Scripture, and so on don't make us holy because we do them. We become holy because by doing these things we are sensitized to the activities of the Holy Spirit in our own lives and in the world around us. I perform spiritual disciplines because they will make me a loving person. These disciplines feed me. If I stop "eating" I will eventually die. So I "eat." Thus am I given the power to do and the transformation to be. We must trust the Holy Spirit to draw us into holiness. This is how Christian character develops. This is what Christian perfection looks like.

Mildred Bangs Wynkoop observed that it is possible to talk holiness into a grave. The doctrine of holiness becomes a headstone and the grave is for those who betrayed it. This betrayal is the reason why much of modern Christianity is deemed irrelevant by a postmodern world. Postmodern people seek out authentic characters as models. So Wesley's vision of Christianity exhibits kinship with the postmodern context. For Wesley, true religion is never rational assent alone. All belief and all activity must come from the heart. Authentic Christianity is an experiential faith that leads to meaningful action in a complex world.

Concluding Thoughts

After experiencing this workshop, I finally--finally--understood the why of church, and faith, and holiness. For God's sake, the why of being human. Somehow, I'd been a Christian for ten years, spent all of those years in one form of ministry or another, and received a degree in religion from a Wesleyan-Holiness university--and yet the why was never explained. Or if it was, it was explained in terms I could not grasp at the time.

This why has gone a long way toward helping me reconcile myself with Church. I'm not there yet. But I understand things a little better now.

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